People blog because they want to believe that they have latent talents, opinions, or experiences that would appeal to a larger audience if they only had the opportunity. Delusion tends to be persuasive. People start cracking away at a keyboard having an imaginary conversation with their future publisher or their breathless, yet cultured readers. I’m a hack whose opinions are typically worth their weight and whose experiences mostly involve commuting. I can’t say that causes me to press forward. Clearly, it hasn’t stopped me either.
Proverbs tells us that “a fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” That particular passage has staved off my desire to blog for a while. I know it will be opinion-rich and understanding-poor. I’m assuming, of course, that the blog will reflect my life. I can’t simply say that I want to write. That strikes me as just the sort of argument a fool might make in defense of expressing his or her own opinion.
I want to argue that the effort will teach me to understand myself. That’s flimsy at best. If it’s not flimsy, it’s at least arrogant. So it probably is true. But, as we have the unfortunate requirement that the truth be believable, I need to find another reason. Besides, I know that too in touch with my own thoughts. If anything, I need to stop doing so much navel-gazing and look around a little bit.
What if I don’t want to express my opinion at all? What if I’m just trying to get my mental hamster off his wheel for a little while? It seems absurd at first glance, but is it possible that I am only recording my thoughts and don’t want other people to read my blog? Such a claim would require some pretty substantial proof. Or, better yet, I could make some rules. Nothing gives a sense of legitimacy quite like hard and fast rules.
The Ten Eight Commandments of this Blog
1. I promise that I will not solicit my friends, be they Facebook or real life, to read my blog.
2. I promise to not reference my blog in daily conversations as though people could pick it up at the local bookstore and be illuminated by it.
3. I promise to not dual-post my thoughts onto the notes section of Facebook (or any other networking site currently in existence or developed in the future).
4. I promise to not post a link to my blog when I post in another person’s comment section.
5. I promise to refuse to call myself a blogger or writer because of what I’m doing here.
6. I promise to not reverse search myself to see what my web footprint size is.
7. I promise to offer my condolences to anyone who stumbles into this garbage.
8. I promise to maintain our friendship for a minimum of one year after you have a momentary lapse and tell me your honest opinion about my abilities.
All of this, of course, is perfectly mutable the minute there’s any money in it.
